February Horoscopes


Aries: Spiderman is a grand person to look up to. His wisdom and powers are a good thing to want. You're feeling very unwanted lately. Watch for baby elephants.
Taurus: Pay attention to any type of criticism today and the days that follow. You have't been listening to things that matter, and for that you will be bitten in the buttox.
Gemini: Make sure you are sure of what you do before you do it. Don't act on impulses or little Chinese children will appear. Don't fret over unmatched socks, they're a good thing.
Cancer: You will be short on money today, but don't let that stop you from outings with friends. A true friend will understand what you're going through. Watch for purple monkeys, they're a sign of bad things.
Leo: Don't be afraid to take control of a situation you know you need to. Your peers need your guided instruction to complete tasks. Your lucky numbers are: 8, 927, and 0.
Virgo: Be aware of things that seem a little too good to be true. Don't wear shoes under pressure, it will cause banyans.
Libra: If you have been wondering something, give up. It is of no help to you to stress over wondered ideas. Research.
Scorpio: There is nothing in store for you, be on the prowl to prove me wrong.
Sagittarius: Someone close to you is going to betray you. Be wary of those you think you trust. Watch for green dinosaurs; they're not all dead.
Capricorn: Your lucky numbers are: 74, 9, and 3. Steel clear of cleaned windows, this is a sign of bad karma on your way.
Aquarius: You have no friends, the world hates you. Don't fret though, it just means you are lame.
Pisces: Paint your nails green, dye your hair green, and go green. This would be in your best interest.




